just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
