I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
