I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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