He asked me if I "almost moaned"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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