I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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