Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
