I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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