I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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