Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
