Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
