I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
