My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
