She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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