If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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