paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
