It's Friday. Sex?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
