I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
