So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
