when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
My vagina is officially offended.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
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