dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
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Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
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I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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