the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
