living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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