Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
