He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
