thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
