When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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