and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
It was like getting head from an anaconda
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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