It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm at about main and main street
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
