Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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