Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
