Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
