Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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