I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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