I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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