even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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