and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize
