Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
