In the future we'll all be gay
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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