can we get nightvision for the apartment?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize