I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
