Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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