Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
