I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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