no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
