no, he came in my armpit
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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