Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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