She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
