yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
