He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
