I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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