how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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