the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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