Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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