R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today