is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
