Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
