I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
