i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
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