when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Randomize
