Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
